My wife is my hero. She has an amazing spirit. She lives her life to the fullest – full of fun, laughter, love, and passion.
And yet, she’s dealt with chronic pain for the last 21 years. Now, if you met her and did not know she was in pain, you wouldn’t make that observation. She doesn’t show it, and so you won’t see it - unless you’re looking for it. The occasional neck adjustment, the deep breath, the shoulder shrug – striving for relief through some sort of momentary change.
Thousands of dollars and countless hours with chiropractors, MDs, DOs, nutritionists, holistic specialists, acupuncturists, nutritional herb experts, and even P90X (that was my fault). Nothing has worked. After years of promised improvements, she hasn’t given up hope for healing. If God wants to heal her, He will. Outside of God’s divine intervention, this is how it is, until it changes. So, a long time ago she accepted it. Now what?
Live.
And that’s what she does, fully, every day. When I ask her how she’s feeling, sometimes she’ll answer, “crappy but happy.”
My wife makes me think about this curious time we are in. Recently, I was talking to a client friend of mine who was struggling with the anxiety of our COVID-19 situation. I had given him a copy of Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. And he shared a lesson he learned early on in the book, which is so applicable to our current situation.
One of dozens of excellent lessons for dealing with worry and anxiety, Dale Carnegie shared the principle of 3 Steps to Eliminating Worry.
Identify what’s the worst that can happen? With my wife, the worst was continued pain – there was nothing terminal; it was not a disease; it was just something that would likely continue, no better, no worse.
Accept the worst. My wife did this a long time ago. This does not mean the worst-case scenario is the only outcome; it’s just the worst.
Do something about it. Once you’ve accepted the worst, the fear and uncertainty are taken away, and you can now do something about it. Be proactive. My wife focuses on the positives and fully lives into them. Her pain cannot take that away unless she lets it. And that is the key. She chooses not to.
Today, in this difficult time. Apply these three points. Define the worst (realistically) that can happen. Accept it. Then do something about it.