Help Me Help You

One of the most popular movies of the 1990s is Jerry Maquire, starring Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger.

It's also one of the most quoted movies I know of – based on the scene at the end. Jerry is rambling about his love for Dorothy, not really getting it out well. She stops him cold and says, “You had me at ‘Hello’”, “You had me at, ‘Hello’”.

But there’s another line that has always stood out to me, and its life application is much more feasible. More so than “You had me at ‘Hello’”, though that pretty much rocks. I’m thinking Amy said that to me.

It was with Cuba Gooding Jr, AKA Rod Tidwell – the amazingly talented, arrogant, and flamboyant wide receiver. The bathroom scene where Jerry is at his wit’s end trying to work with Tidwell, who keeps messing things up in Jerry’s bid to get him signed with a major NFL team. Tidwell’s his only client and Jerry’s going nuts trying to rein in his antics that, despite his extraordinary talent, don’t bode well for a high-paying contract.

In the locker room, Jerry’s in a suit, broke and frantic, and Rod is in a towel, dancing around, singing his own praises and ignoring Jerry’s advice. Jerry hysterically spouts out, “Help me, help you. Help me, help you.” Rod laughs but the point is taken.

This is a great lesson. For salespeople, businesspeople, anyone responsible for developing more revenue - referrals are the number one lead source. We give out cards and say, “If you think of anyone, let me know”. Who’s doing that? We all have plenty to do, and selling someone else’s business isn’t on the top of that list.

So, help them, help you.

Tell them who you are looking for. Give them a name. Do your research. Go to Linked In. Who do they know that you want to know? Reduce the barrier and make it easy. Help them help you.

This applies to all interactions. If you need somebody to come through for you, help them help you. Be clear, gain mutual understanding and expectations. Be approachable. Be nice. Be honest. Be fair. Be less prickly and more compassionate. Help them help you.

We can make things a whole lot easier for ourselves and others if we just see them saying what Jerry said: “Help me, help you”.